I've been trying to write this blog for about two weeks now. I am in such a rut academically, socially, and spiritually. I want to comfort others and express a sense of hope. But the ironic thing is my dysfunctional brain warps what I need most into what I feel the world needs from me. Quick to give and slow to ask.
This was initially started to mourn the loss of a friend of a friend. It's been a heartbreaking experience for me to see one of my best friends go through such an epochal and emotional experience. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to show him that Comfort is constant, warm, and consoling. More than anything I want him to feel the strong embrace of Love when the spirits of the night dance around his dying fire.
I also decided I'd intertwine my emotions of going home for the first time in two months. I wanted to lift up the sweet scent of my mom's perfume when I hugged her. I wanted to let the world hear the beauty of my sister's laugh when life's simplicity becomes too much to hold inside. I wanted the back patio talks with Dad to be heralded as the "great council of men" that it truly is. I even want to share my adoration of the quiet, gentle hum of the refrigerator. I wanted to have my loves twirled around this page with genuine celebration. I went home and was happy.
But the creativity wouldn't come. I want to give the people something they can treasure, something they can relate to. But sadly, right now I don't have it to give. For too long I've starved myself from what I really need. And I'm ready to be full again.
Sorry this isn't of the same vein of my previous posts. This time I don't come bearing art. This time it's just me.
Will, at least on this night, my simple thought is this....why do I want or need Jesus? Is it what He will do for me;how He will make my marriage better;how I can look better to others;or even feel better because I do some things for Him. No matter the journey,good or bad, we get Him...and if that's not enough....then we've been looking for the wrong stuff. Peace, my brother--I love you.
ReplyDeleteSeason of wilderness is not always a time of enjoyment, but a time of learning, reshaping, and understanding.
ReplyDelete:) love ya man.
Even though your one of my most upbuilding, supportive friends,sometimes its gotta be your turn to be upbuilt and supported.
ReplyDeleteWe got your back man!
So much love is coming your way, Will....hope you can feel it!!! xxoo Sisi
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